It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
