I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
