just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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