i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
