he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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