Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
