They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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