I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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