Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize