So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
