rhymes with "ouble enetration"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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