You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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