i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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