Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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