He kissed a someone with a penis
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Someone stole a lamp last night.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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