You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize