fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
