you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
