things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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