Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
