Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle

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(303): View more from Colorado

I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...

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(406): View more from Montana

Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...

(303): View more from Colorado

Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?

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(425): View more from Washington

Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while

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(813): View more from Florida

It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"

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(567): View more from Ohio

i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?

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