why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
