Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
