You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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