I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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