dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
