I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
