Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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