can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
