Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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