I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
