Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm experimenting with sincerity
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
