Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
