yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
