google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
