her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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