maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize