But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
