Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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