Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
