Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
