If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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