Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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