My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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