Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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