turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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