Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
