i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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