We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Randomize
