***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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