cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
