So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
