I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
