oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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