the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
