For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
