Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
