So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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