Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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